Happy Birthday to You

So, today is a very special day, primarily because it begins the 48-hour countdown to my birthday. On a side note, Dizzle gets older too.
In honour of this second, not-so-fantastic event, I present another list:

THE FUNNIEST THINGS EVER TO COME OUT OF DIZZLE'S MOUTH

First, this was harder to compile than it may seem, primarily because JD provides more ammo in terms of actions (e.g. employee parking lot, The Met, expressions) than in terms of words (unlike Ronestar, whose talents are almost completely in the opposite arenas). Second, there is no order to this list - it's just a stream of consciousness post.
So here we go:

WHY?
This one will echo through the halls of eternity. A prefect combination of naivete, spacing, and awkwardness - I can only imagine the deafening silence following this comment. That silence must have been broken by only two sounds : the sound of a heart shattering into a million pieces on one end of the phone, and the sound of a 140dB inner monologue on the other end.

IT'S UNDER A SHITLOAD OF STUFF ON MY DESK
Introduction : Boys frantically searching for a Simon Says keychain gifted to Yours Truly (in true Robin Hood fashion by Rosco), and ungifted by JD. JD and Roni sit calmly on the sofa.
Complication : Boys decide said keychain must be hidden somewhere upstairs in the house. JD still offers no advice as scouts are sent out to various parts of the house.
Resolution : JD triumphantly exclaims "You guys will never find it. It's under a shitload of stuff on my desk!" Silence follows, then uproarious laughter and an immediate rush to JD's room to reacquire the precious trophy.
Epilogue : JD still doesn't realize what was so funny, thereby increasing the inherent humour of the situation.

GUYS, WE'RE ON THE WRONG TRAIN
There are two types of people : those who live in DC, and those who don't. The first category can be further subdivided into people who take the train EVERY FREAKIN' DAY, and those who do not. So when these two groups mix, who would be expected to get confused about what direction the train is going? If you said the people who don't live in DC, you'd be wrong in this case. Enough said.

I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHO TERRY SCHIAVO WAS
Rosco, Keviv, and I had just booked our first class tickets to hell by developing and nicknaming a facial expression that reminded people of the media whirlwind that was Ms. Schiavo. After going along with us for a full four days in Atlanta, where every conversation was punctuated at least four or five times with a Schiavo, JD admitted that she didn't really know who this mysterious lady was. Apparently the media should have covered it more.

HEY!
Uttered on innumerable occasions, this phrase appears after a delay, as JD's inner monologue shuts up long enough for her to realize she is being made fun of. In fact, I predict that JD is just now uttering this very phrase as she comes to the conclusion that this whole blog entry is making fun of her. Never mind that this is more than three-quarters through the entry. This phrase recently has been added to the list of things that will get you a point if you can make JD say them. (As of now, I believe Rosco and I are the only ones who actively play this game)

SO THEN I PUT IT IN A ZIPLOC BAG
Spiders hate Ziploc bags, an old saying goes. This sentence, spoken so nonchalantly, as if it were the natural thing to do to a spider, garnered many accolades as the "Sentence Least Likely to Show Up in a Conversation Regarding Spiders." Kudos, JD.

So there you have it, folks. A brief list. Feel free to add on to this - since we can't spank the birthday girl physically, a verbal version will have to do.