So in the midst of my quarter-life crisis the other day, I started thinking about what I want to do in terms of a job for the rest of my life. Unlike you dayworkers, I went back to grad school to further postpone this momentous decision, but now it's slowly sneaking up on me again. In any case, in the midst of my ruminations, I remembered a rather funny incident from high school : one year, we all took career aptitude tests. Mine, uninterestingly, told me I should be a civil engineer. But Caryn's, hilariously, told her she would do best as a...wait for it...FUNERAL DIRECTOR. In a perverted way, it makes sense, I suppose - only a funeral parlour could have balanced that perpetual smile. Anyway, that memory got me to thinking - what sort of jobs would we be least suited for? And so I present to you the following list. Oh, and the initials are to protect people's anonymity (L. Simpson, anyone?).
WORST JOBS EVER
GB - "New Yorker" cartoonist
JPB2 - Glass sculptor
EHM - Theatre usher
LMT - City planner in charge of traffic circles
CF - Tightrope walker
JAT - "The View" panelist
PP - Professional procrastinator
LP - Photo shoot extra
DB - Anti-terror expert
PSM - High school orientation leader
JH - Wedding cake baker
VM - Trash collector (yes, it's obscure, but think about some classic lines for a sec)
JMH (female) - Corpse actor
JMH (male) - Gillette spokesmodel
JDS - Water conservation crusader
SS - OED Editor
IN - Dating service CEO
KH - Seal clubber
SB - Wildlife identifier
KSN - Third-shift anything
RAC - Airline critic
And as an aside, looking back, switching the two JMH's leads to two weirdly appropriate jobs for the concerned parties. Coincidence? I think not.
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4 comments:
BEST JOB EVER:
RAC - Pedestrian Pole Saftey Inspector.
OH MAN, VILOO you are the best
or
HO nma oolvi ouy rea het sebt
you know it took me a week to realize who IN was? i think your attempt to protect people's identities worked a little TOO well ... haha! Dude, you and I are very much at the same point of quarter-life crisis.
BEST JOB EVER:
IN - Professional Sperm Donator
In the spirit of the jobs listed, I also thought that Mime and Librarian would be really bad, seeing as I get kicked out of libraries. =)
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