Sweet Home Evanston

The Invasion of Chicago having been completed (and almost perfectly timed with the Sack of Chicago on the football field), those of us who survived (Sharon and I) can look back at the ruins and reminisce about that glorious weekend. Lists are fun, but numbered lists can get a little boring, so this recap takes the form of an acrostic. Without further ado, here are some memories that continue to waft in the heads of those still remaining in Chi-town.

Siesta Sack
Word of the Siesta Sack spread like wildfire even before the horde arrived. One of Graham's best investments of all time, the Sack welcomed its share of buttocks, putting even Roni's butt-fetish to shame. The calling of the Sack began (apparently) as soon as the out-of-towners arrived, and Vivek was lucky enough to claim it the first night, after kicking Roni and Jen out. However, the Sack is a proud and intelligent piece of furniture. It exacts its revenge gradually over the course of the night, trapping body heat and warming up, ultimately making the sleeper wake up in discomfort after a few hours. Vivek succumbed to its wiles the first night. Still, it remained the most popular piece of furniture in the apartment for the weekend.

Ross is clearly winning in the battle for the Sack

Poker
This was the tamest group trip ever - lots of beer was purchased for lots of drinking games, but very little was consumed. And, in true sacrilegious spirit, not a single game of Oreo poker was played. Although many Double and Quadruple-Stuf Oreos were eaten, none of them were reluctantly given, as is usually the case, to Rosco after his obligatory revelation of a two pair hand. Rousing games of thirty-one, crazy eights, and asshole did take place, but with very little drunkenness. Blame it on the cold, fatigue, or the teetotaling host, whichever you prefer.

The ratio of rum to Oreos should be 1:2

Awful Fashion
During the weekend, everyone did their best to emulate the Pillsbury Doughboy (Hoohoo). Ross and JD, perhaps, were the best, with their six and five layer ensembles respectively. Fortunately, as Rosco put it, we didn't stick out too much, given the average BMI of the majority of midwesterners around us. Hey, when it's cold, you insulate however you can (segue alert).

This was an example of the BEST ensemble of the weekend. Hot hot hot.

Zero degree weather
Closely tied to the previous entry, the average temperature on Sunday hovered around 10 degrees Fahrenheit. Although the weather on Saturday was quite obliging, allowing for some football throwing and plenty of Chicago-wandering, Mama Nature bit back hard on Sunday, resulting in the aforementioned horde of Doughboys running around.

Millennium Park
Most of Saturday afternoon and evening was spent at Millennium Park. Highlights included:

Vivek and Rosco challenging themselves to navigate the park by only using non-traditional walkways (grass, banisters, benches, bike racks, anything that was not ground-level concrete).

Rosco discovers an invisible tightrope

Roni and Jen taking "ice skating" pictures of themselves with their reflections from the Bean.

Objects in the rearview mirror may appear more graceful than they are.

Roni imitating a set of conjoined twins, with the help of the Bean.

Surgery of this nature would involve an acetylene torch

JD's fancy new hairstyle at Caribou Coffee, and Vivek's seriousness as a coiffeur.

My masterpiece - she are complete!

Vivek's mind-meld with a bear's head.

Chicago's version of the Minotaur.

The Merkeys (or "Dogballs," as they are affectionately known) guiding us to the secret hidden rink on the far side of the park.

Being denied twice in our quest to ice skate - first by a daunting 40 minute wait in the cold, and then by a private party occupying the second, Merkey-guided rink.

Some people being completely unable to read the forty-foot lit "Go Bears" sign on one of the skyscrapers surrounding the park.

On the El
We spent perhaps more time on the El than in any other single location this weekend. Thanks to the super-slow Red Line, trips downtown took about an hour, which translated to an average of 11 miles an hour. However, the soothing cadences of the train were enough to lull Michedan to sleep, much to everyone else's amusement.

Aw look, it's asleep!

Also, Rosco and JD decided the train was such fun that Vivek would want to spend the rest of his life on it - the two rascals turned their plan into action by tying Vivek's jacket hood to the back of the train seat. Vivek extricated himself about fifteen seconds later, smashing his perceived status as an El-lover.

He may ride forever 'neath the streets of Chicago

In round two (Sunday), some of us braved the El again to meet up with Cody (or Jay, as I quickly learned) in Lakeview. After visiting Cody's apartment, we gained a newfound appreciation for the El when it rescued us from the biting cold and nestled us in its warm bosom.

Tell me you can get this
Saturday's travels were capped off by a deep-dish orgy at Giordano's in Evanston. However, the pizza was upstaged by a simple game, and more importantly, Jentard's reaction to the game. Ever the brunt of jokes this weekend, Jen good-naturedly took another one to the chin : when she mistakenly went to the restroom, everyone else there was quickly filled in on the rules of the game. An hour later, the frustrated Michedan finally realized how the snapping game worked. However, as we found out the next day, when she spelled out "Takaa" for "Tokyo," there was still some latent incomprehension. Also, Roni stayed true to form when trying to list the capital of a country beginning with "Ire" : "Tel Aviv," not "Dublin," is clearly the right answer.

Actually, they are pretty similar, come to think of it.

Rabbit
A brief moment, but deserving of its own mention, was the hideous rabbit-filled bag prominently displayed by a Midwestern Matron at Caribou Coffee. JD served as the decoy model in order to obtain photographic evidence.

Watership Down meets Kate Spade (click on the image for gory detail)

Over? I don't even know her!
A repeated joke amusing to at most two people from the ASH crowd (whose names begin with R and V and end in 'oss' and 'ilas.' That's right - Voss and Rilas). The goal was to take this joke as far as possible, including finding gems like "interim? he's not even dead!" and "Alabama? I just met'a!" Of the Evanston crew, Graham was decidedly unamused, whereas Hoho took a shine to the stellar joke.

"Ning"
The "Ning" sound was representative of the now-standard array of new nonsense sounds and phrases that emerges every trip (past favourites include "Jaaassaaay" and "Hyuk hyuk"). In no particular order, here are some of the best phrases thrown around:
"Ning" - Vivek explained how the elevator in his apartment building tries to seduce each floor by emitting a weak, nasal bell sound that is best approximated by a closed-throat, nose-heavy "ning." Spannng (which can also be said in the same tone, by the way) is apparently the expert at producing this noise.
"Heeenh-heeenh" - The heavy, nasal (sense a theme?) breathing expounded by JD and Rosco at various points throughout the trip. It's only a step away from the "braceface" accent.
"Oh-aye" - Pioneered by James, this odd saying proliferated rapidly amongst the crowd.
"Well well well" - Two renditions, a rising tone version by James, and a rapid-fire one by Swathi, were introduced by the ambassadors of sound, JD and Ross.

And there you have it, a brief rundown of events in the great town of Chi. Michedan, having been constantly teased and threatened with phantom initiations, proved herself capable of handling everything Holland could toss at her. JD breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that the hammer would no longer fall on her. As for the rest, we were just happy to be there.

Naples Ho!